AUSTRIA!!

Moving hesitantly from Prague, we continued our journey onwards towards Austria. Driving to the nation most immediately known for Mozart, mountains and the Sound of Music, I was looking forward to some clean air, some picturesque scenery and a little less significant tourist crush than in Prague.

Our entire Austrian stay was to be spread between Vienna, Salzburg and Innsbruck - the three main centres which each represented slightly different things. Vienna, the heart and capital of Austria, is known for its classical music and Schnitzels; Salzburg is known for being the birthplace of Mozart and being nearby to the scenery featured in the 'Sound of Music' and Innsbruck is famed for its mountains, skiing and hosting of Winter Olympics.

My preconceived expectation of Austria was to find potentially an even more relaxed version of Germany. With a nation known for being outdoors-oriented, I expected to see some open spaces, meet some friendly folk and to take things at generally a more relaxed pace.

Vienna, our first port of call in Austria, provided a campsite to the west of the city; about a 35 minute train ride away. During our drive to Austria, the rain had begun falling (apart from the freak storms in Estonia, this was the first rain we'd experienced) and pursued its dampening purpose throughout our stay.

Finding a small square of earth for our tent*, we ventured into see what Vienna had to offer (sans umbrella). It was a Saturday, so we anticipated things to be quite bustling in town. The weather was dreary and miserable, so we decided to check in on the Butterfly House, which gave us a taste of tropical Far North Queensland in the heart of 'Heidi' territory.

(*coffin)

From there, we explored some additional old buildings, theatres and coffee shops (which acted as refuges from the sometimes diagonal rain).

I was just starting to feel that I wasn't entirely convinced with Vienna when, suddenly, at around 4:00pm, everything begun to close. Shops shut their windows, galleries closed their doors and street vendors were swept away like the plastic drink bottles they sold as they lay strewn in the streets.

"Odd", I thought to myself, wondering whether Austria had set new standards for some really bloody late siesta (4-8 or something?). But no, this was Saturday in Austria's largest city, and things were simply closing for the day.

Makes sense I suppose. Multiple thousand tourists in town, some of which would be considering staying the journey for (god in heaven forbid) a dinner and a drink. Just shut things, that won't piss people off at all. I'm not sure if they get 'Hey Hey It's Saturday', but maybe they had to be home to watch it?

Feeling wet and a little depressed by the closed doors and lack of 'vibrance', Nicola and I pondered our next move. We stumbled upon a man dressed clumsily as Mozart (a Mozart with a rain-soaked, dishevelled wig), selling tickets to a classical music performance that evening. As we were negotiating a ticket price (which we didn't know we could do until baulking at the €59 price on offer), a small man of Asian descent ran up to our 'Mozart' and spat out excitedly whilst raising one eyebrow in curiosity "excuse me, is this the Golden Concert Hall? The most RENOWNED classical music venue in ALL of Vienna?".

It was almost poetic timing, as our ticket seller beamed and claimed proudly to our friend and to us that "yes, it certainly is". The Asian man was so excited he took a few photos and said "thank you - I am so glad I have tickets". We were from that point left with little choice but to pay our reduced fee (€23) and make plans for a pre-show dinner.

Consuming a Wiener Schnitzel the size of my head wasn't something I'd planned for Austria, but having done it (but nudging aside the potato salad), I cheered up considerably. With an undigested schnitzel waiting to cause me trouble later, we returned to the theatre for our performance, which was really quite professionally delivered and high quality. Featuring the 'greatest hits' of Bach and Mozart, it delivered a really enjoyable show to an entry-level audience (including ourselves of course).

Upon returning home after our day in Vienna, Nicola and I mused at what the next day would bring. Being a Sunday, we felt that maybe, like Bendigo, nothing except for Target opened. So it was decided; we would leave Vienna and take a day trip somewhere. It was only the next morning that we decided to go to Budapest in Hungary (more on this later).

So the morning after our 'day out' in Hungary, we moved onto our next Austrian destination - Salzburg. It was foreboding from the start when we found all the campsites in Salzburg full. After exhausting all possible opportunities, we stumbled upon a campsite still featured on Nav Man, but which was deserted and no longer in operation. So we decided to 'car camp' in this deserted campsite (just on the outside of town) and make our way in the next day to see the sights.

Camping in a deserted, disused campsite was, I admit, a little weird - kind of like going to a deserted amusement park would be. But it did the job and being stab-wound free the next morning we made our way into Salzburg proper for some good old fashioned 'sight-seeing'. What we 'saw' was approximately 2.175 million tourists and some old but uninspiring buildings, including Mozart's House, which was essentially just a house that Mozart lived in (who would have thought).

What we found was a perfectly 'clean' and polished city. We observed over-polished spires, neat and orderly tourist queues and overpriced market and food stalls. Statues without any traces of bird droppings glared solemnly in our direction.

Reading up on Salzburg's history, I read that Mozart was as eager as possible to leave Salzburg ASAP, and I can somewhat understand the sentiment. What was missing from the place was any presence of atmosphere. Salzburg had been completely scoured of all of its soul and cultural integrity, and what was in its place was a stern smile and admission fee for absolutely everything. Disappointed and struggling to find anything truly interesting, Nicola and I decided that day to move onto Innsbruck early, to see if we could scratch up any culture.

Our campsite near Innsbruck was beautifully perched on the side of a small hill with views of surrounding hills and villages. It FELT like a little ski village, and certainly delivered on the outdoors element we anticipated for Austria - gliders, para-gliders, cyclists and hikers were virtually always in sight. Innsbruck itself we found to be much less glitzy and tourist-y than uninspiring Salzburg, and we were quite happy to spend a day investigating the town centre.

We used Innsbruck for a launching pad for trips to Neustift, where Nicola's cousin Mike lives (a beautiful little mountain town, nestled below Stubai Glacier) and the Bavarian region of Germany (to take in some castles). These smaller town areas provided us with a bit more insight as to what the 'real' Austria may be like - pretty window boxes with red Pelargoniums and timber cabin-style houses.

So we were left somewhat impressed but probably a little more disappointed with Austria. Maybe if we were older and stark raving mad about the Sound of Music and visiting where Mozart took a crap, we may have got more out of it. As it stands we weren't any of the above, and while we did get a little something from rural Austria, I concluded that the cities were quite disappointing.

The people…

Very much like Germans, but on second thoughts maybe a little more like 'Swiss Germans', Austrians are not as ready with a smile or welcoming greeting as their language creators. Although not outwardly rude (unlike the Swiss), they are a bit surly and a little too interested in money than would be considered healthy in normal circumstances.

What could have driven this? Austria was once (when combined to form the Austria-Hungarian empire) one of the power centres of 19th and early 20th Century Europe. When WWI came along and served up a cold side dish of 'smack-down' to the Austrians by way of loss of sizeable amounts of land, it may have stirred a little disenchantment amongst the people. WWII certainly didn't help a recovering nation's cause either.

Whatever the reason, a re-established Austria has become more expensive, tourist-oriented and money focused than Germany, and is definitely none the better for it.

Key activities on the trip:

• Visiting a Mozart and Bach concert in Vienna
• Wandering around cities of Vienna, Salzburg and Innsbruck
• Driving out to Neustift, which was the site of our re-entry to the world of staying fit (we had a jog around the mountain valley)

Highlights…

• The Mozart concert (although a little contrived with all instrument players and the conductor wearing Mozart wigs), was a great way to spend a rainy Vienna evening
• The schnitzel I ate; it was seriously massive, and when combined with a large stein of beer kept me full for quite some time (I didn't eat breakfast the next day)
• 'Country' Austria was sweet and picturesque, especially the area of Neustift
• Innsbruck seemed quite a fun city, and I can imagine would be bustling with even more life come ski season
• Austria's proximity to places we preferred to be (i.e. Budapest and Barvaria)
• Our newfound decisiveness to cut our losses and move on from Salzburg was pure, unplanned genius

Lowlights…

• Seeing just how much a culture can be exploited - Salzburg is pure €€€€€€ signs and polished marble. Great if you're after something clean, clinical and safe (thousands of tourists each day can't be wrong), but not really what we were looking for.
• Camping became quite expensive, and made us particularly eager to 'car camp' in a deserted ex-campsite in Salzburg
• We voted at the Austrian embassy in Vienna, which gave me an opportunity to come to grips with just how truly terrible and undifferentiated ALL of our major party politicians are. Stopping short of a 'Donkey Vote', writing numbers on a bit of paper never felt so unfulfilling, particularly after a 45 minute uncomfortable wait for the voting booth.

In summary...

I feel regretful already for being 'too harsh' on Austria. After all, there was nothing specifically 'wrong' with the place. Things were clean, presented well and we felt safe at all times. But sometimes (in fact, more often than not) visiting a place should be about more than that.

Safety is about life jackets, helmets and knee pads, and is inherently not interlinked with the term 'fun'. Austria just felt a bit hollow.

For those seeking a slower-paced holiday, and who truly appreciate the 'Sound of Music' and its scenery, Austria would be fine. But, like the 'Sound of Music', Austria is not 'real' and I couldn't help but pick up some serious holes in the plot.

I would liken it to…

Mr Sheen. Sure, he shines and is all polished, but he looks like a completely boring little bugger and isn't someone I'd make a big effort to visit very often.