SWITZERLAND!

Entering a country which is world renowned for being 'picture postcard' in its' beauty and precise and ingenious in its' mindset provided me with a sense of excitement and anticipation. As the 'Blue Bolt' neared the border from Ornans via Neuschatel, the hills became mountains and the streams rivers. The 'border' was nothing more than a few deserted, unmanned gates. Our first stop was at a service station to buy a road tax sticker, which was to cover us for all of our driving in Switzerland (the best €40 we spent).

Our first camping destination was the town of Grindelwald, a town we thought to be a sweet little mountain village, tucked away at the foot of the Jungfrau. It turned out to be a tourist bonanza of a town replete with multiple souvenir stores, overpriced food outlets and floppy-hatted, flip-up sunglasses-wearing Japanese tourists. By the busload. I discovered this with a short stroll through town, and an overpriced hamburger and under-priced beer.

Our campsite was run by a red-faced blond-haired German man named Rudolf, who used his time alternately between running a tight ship in the campsite and cutting hay in his surrounding fields with a scythe. I respected this in Rudolf. Although the town itself was full to the brim with tourists and sightseers, the surrounding area was beautiful. Outside our tent door was a view of the north face of the Eiger mountain, and within a 5 minute walk was the railway which was to take us to the top.

Our trip then drew us near the Swiss-Italian border to the base of the Matterhorn, then back up to Zurich before our eventual departure to Germany.

In Switzerland the views, the walks and the altitude are all literally breathtaking. However the lasting memory for me was the exorbitantly high prices to actually DO anything other than breathe and walk (although I think they would probably be thinking of ways of introducing an 'oxygen tax'). I think it took me about an hour and a half to recover my senses after coughing up €157 each for a train ride up to the top of the Jungfrau.

Key activities on the trip...

A visit to the top of the Jungfrau via the cog railway
A walk on the side of the Schilthorn (another mountain close by; through fields with cows and their ringing neck bells - a certifiable cacophony of caramel coloured cows chiming!)
A side trip to Trommelbach Falls (a series of waterfalls inside a mountain)
Going for a run to the base of the Matterhorn
Driving over the Furka Pass - a steep and hairpin bend-dominated stretch of road which provided both photo opportunities and opportunities for certain and painful death at every bend
A quick trip to Zurich

The people...

The other thing which really got my goat about the place was the manner of the Swiss people themselves. The French have a stereotype-driven cultural image of being rude and insolent, however it is my counter-claim that it is the Swiss which reign supreme over these virtues. They seemed largely self-possessed, money-hungry and disinterested. Think Martina Hingis. Wave a Euro or three hundred in their face and you may get a glimmer of attention, but short of that and you're talking to walking, yodelling brick walls.

Highlights…

• The scenery - beautiful, and impossible to take a bad photo of.
• The quality of the roads - simply amazing. The tunnels, mountain passes and highways were all A-Grade and were a pleasure to drive on.
• The cows - I don't know what it is about such a simple thing as cows wearing bells, but it somehow provides a certain 'ambience'.
• The fact that I didn't hear any yodelling.

Lowlights…

• Prices for tourist activities - I feel that this was also partly due to the absurd amounts of tourists swarming all over the place, but Jesus it was hard to think our budget would last 3 months if we'd stayed there any longer.
• The people - I know there are exceptions to every rule and we met a few Swiss who bucked the trend, but for mine they are clearly the rudest people in the world. Bang.

In summary...

So although Switzerland was one of the most aesthetically beautiful places we visited, it was certainly an element you paid for in other ways. It does have some of the most amazing scenery (and has provided some great photos for us), but it was far from the perfect Eden it is made out to be.

In other news, Rudolf managed to reap his hay harvest at a time appropriately coinciding with a series of dry and warm days. Although I can't confirm the true value of his bumper hay crop, I would like to think he had a sly grin and a whisky or two as he rolled into bed post-baling.

I would liken it to…

Truffles - interesting to look at and enjoy with the senses, but expensive as buggery and leaves a slightly bitter taste in your mouth.